What happens when I don’t believe my mind?

This past week I’ve been particularly aware of my mind and its relentless activity. I’ve found it running old tapes of worry or regret or problem solving that seem to go nowhere. When these tapes are running, I am not in my body, not in the present moment. The mind’s activity is distracting me, protecting me from a feeling that I don’t want to feel. To see through the mind’s strategy of protection is wild. What happens if I don’t believe my mind? What is this activity trying to protect me from? What’s happening right now in my actual experience? These simple questions put me back in contact with myself.

In the moments where I become aware of my mind, I’ve been practicing returning home to presence. A letting go to rest deep in the body. A free fall into a silence and stillness that’s already here. In presence, I experience a warmth and a feeling of being held. It’s like that moment on vacation when you realize you’re actually doing nothing and there’s nothing to do. There is a sense of peace and an open hearted curiosity to what’s happening in my immediate experience. It feels like freedom.

The thing about presence is that it opens us up to it all. To the feelings we have been avoiding and resisting…but also all of the joy and love we didn’t know was here. The fullness of life. Practicing presence sends a signal to the mind that there is no need for protection. That we are willing and able to be in life exactly how it is.