The gift of no efforting.

I made a beautiful discovery on this past retreat. It was the quiet, still, spacious experience of no efforting. I’ve visited here before, but there was something new about it this time. I realized that we may never need efforting in our lives. That the focus on productivity and control that creates stress is actually not necessary. That we have a choice in each moment about how we do our lives. I love this about retreat. These discoveries.

This weekend my husband is away and I am doing all the things. I’ve taken this no efforting into all the driving, cooking, cleaning, and coordinating that it takes to keep the machine going. In all of it, I’ve found time to just be. Yesterday my older son and I just sat together and talked for two hours about life. No phones, no agenda, no stress. No effort.

I’ve believed in efforting my whole life. To discover that it isn’t necessary is quite profound. And there is so much productivity inside of no efforting. I’ve done a lot. But it feels different. I’m not pushing. I’m not anticipating. I’m not trying to make anything happen. It feels more like allowing, flowing. I don’t have to leave myself. I’m aware of my energy, my body, my emotions, my mind. I’m meeting myself in each moment. This is how I’ve brought retreat home. The gift of effortless being.